Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What’s expected of new and expectant fathers?

Having experienced being pregnant and the expectations I personally had of my partner, it has now made me ask myself a huge question “Are all us women the same, do we expect too much?”

We have all seen the movies, being pregnant, mother and fatherhood, being in love and wrapped up with the joys of parenthood, it all appears so perfect, but real life is not like this, well it sure wasn’t for me!

Expectant Dads – A word of advice!

One of the biggest issues I would say is for you men to actually stand back and realise your partners life has already changed, whereas you can still do what you want, when you want, she is already adapting into motherhood and the emotional and physical changes that are taking place. I know it will appear daunting to believe your life could change so dramatically, and the person you thought you knew inside and out seems to be changing in front of your eyes!

As a mother and having experienced the changes within myself, I never for one minute thought my partner would be suffering or needing any support, I was too busy worrying about the new arrival, weighing up all the things that needed to be done, moaning about him still doing everything as he used too and not realising what it was like for me! When in fact he was actually going through some major changes too, not only the daunting aspect of fatherhood but also watching his partner change so much.

There is no simple answer, I don’t have the answer, but the most important thing is to talk, the more you talk about your feelings the more likely your going to understand one another.

For all you pregnant women out there – look at the signs, perhaps you need to realise your partner may be experiencing exactly the same as you but is being too strong to admit it! He also needs to know how important his role is, not only now but also for the first stages of your parenthood journey together. It’s not all about us women! And don’t be worried to say your finding it difficult, its quite normal, even now before your baby arrives.

For all expectant fathers – Please have patience with your partner, her life has already changed, and her emotional and physical self needs you more than she ever has! Remind her how beautiful she is and how much you love her, I know it sounds corny, but sometimes that’s all we need! Oh, don’t be surprised to get the "how can I be beautiful when I look like this" reaction! Or even her throwing something your way! Patience is the major factor; you are at the beginning of a long journey together!

Patience for one another and the ability to talk about everything will honestly get you through the hard times. Two of you have made this new life, so now is the real time to stick together!

Lets not forget the joys you have to come, they sure outweigh these difficult ‘high expectation’ times. Not to mention the fun you will have when kitting out their nursery, or buggy shopping, and then eventually the day will come when you meet your baby face to face, and from personal experience nothing will beat it! Well until the next one arrives of course – but that won’t be for a long time for me, if ever!

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